February 12, 2019 Tom Cruise Announces He Will Be Running in 2020 Tom Cruise Announces He Will Be Running in 2020 LOS ANGELES — Tom Cruise released a statement today, after much speculation, confirming he would be running in the year 2020. “I decided it was…
February 10, 2019 Division 2 Beta Lets Players Explore Utopian Vision of Washington D.C. Division 2 Beta Lets Players Explore Utopian Vision of Washington D.C. After months of previews, Ubisoft finally lifted the curtain on Tom Clancy’s The Division 2 through a weekend beta test where players will get a…
February 9, 2019 Hey, Wanna See Some Nazi Shit? Hey, Wanna See Some Nazi Shit? Oh, you want to watch a Doctor Who trailer? Your Google history tells us you enjoy opinions on Doctor Who. Yeah yeah just keep auto-play…
February 6, 2019 Trump Drops Surprise Announcement of New 325 Million-Player Battle Royale Trump Drops Surprise Announcement of New 325 Million-Player Battle Royale WASHINGTON — President Trump shocked the nation today when he unveiled a new plan which pits 325 million Americans in an all-out fight to the…
February 5, 2019 Republicans Try to Appeal to Younger Voters by Releasing State of the Union on YouTube Republicans Try to Appeal to Younger Voters by Releasing State of the Union on YouTube WASHINGTON — Republican strategists have announced they will upload the entirety of Donald Trump’s State of the Union address onto YouTube under the title NATIONAL…
February 2, 2019 Opinion: It’s Time for Game Developers to Unionize OR Make a Game About a Guy With a Giant Fucking Gun Opinion: It’s Time for Game Developers to Unionize OR Make a Game About a Guy With a Giant Fucking Gun Considering the grueling working conditions for video game developers, the long hours they put in for little to no overtime pay, and the horrible ways…
January 27, 2019 Democrats in Disarray After President Trump Tweets That US Constitution Isn’t Canon Democrats in Disarray After President Trump Tweets That US Constitution Isn’t Canon WASHINGTON — The newly-emboldened Democratic Party is in disarray today after President Trump announced on social media that the United States Constitution is no longer…
January 9, 2019 Congress Attempts to Reboot Government in Safe Mode Congress Attempts to Reboot Government in Safe Mode WASHINGTON — Members of the newly-inaugurated 116th Congress of the United States are already facing a fresh challenge: rebooting a shutdown government in safe mode.…
December 13, 2018 Mueller Just Going to Grind a Few More Levels Before Final Boss Fight Mueller Just Going to Grind a Few More Levels Before Final Boss Fight WASHINGTON — Robert Mueller, former FBI director and current head of the Special Counsel Investigation into Russian meddling in the 2016 American election, has reported…
