March 6, 2020 Stoner Immediately Forgets Spoiler Stoner Immediately Forgets Spoiler DETROIT — Local pothead Sarah Murphy’s distress after encountering a spoiler of a movie she planned on seeing was immediately relieved after she forgot what…
December 5, 2018 I Survived: My Mic Was Muted for Two Hours and No One Noticed I Survived: My Mic Was Muted for Two Hours and No One Noticed Heart palpitations. Cold sweats. “Why is no one listening to me?” I wondered to myself, rifling through a mental rolodex of every interaction I’d had…
November 27, 2018 Fellow Criminal Insists Batman Ain’t Coming This Time Fellow Criminal Insists Batman Ain’t Coming This Time GOTHAM CITY — Villainous flunky Thomas O’Dowd remains steadfast in his belief that, despite the frequency at which Batman thwarts the activity of criminals in…
August 21, 2018 Opinion: My Controller’s Being Weird Opinion: My Controller’s Being Weird It is time for our nation to come together and agree that my controller is being weird as hell right now and that’s the only…
March 28, 2018 5 Graphic Novels You Must Lie About Reading Before You Turn 30 5 Graphic Novels You Must Lie About Reading Before You Turn 30 Look, I’m a big believer in reading and shit. It’s super important, but can we be expected to read every last book that people like?…
February 11, 2018 Stranger Things Gave Me Unrealistic Expectations About Having Enough Friends to Play D&D Stranger Things Gave Me Unrealistic Expectations About Having Enough Friends to Play D&D Stranger Things is known for its massively talented young actors and nostalgic 1980s Spielberg-esque horror vibes. It features telekinetic children, creatures from other dimensions, and…
